Lessons from (lack of) Sleep

Another overwhelming stressful week has prompted me to look at what's not working in my life and a basic necessity that I've had a very complicated relationship with for a long long time: sleep 

Here are some of the lessons culled from experience: 

1. Your body wants what it wants - I got home from work past midnight a few days ago. With still a number of things to do, I decided to take a nap to combat my drowsiness - as who can think straight while drowsy right? Past experience has taught me that when I nap given this tired mental and physical state - I never end up getting up. Because I'm stubborn, I've tried different tactics to succeed in this area. That particular evening I tried sleeping on the floor, in hopes that I would be uncomfortable enough to wake up when my (several) alarm(s) go(es) off.  Pretty sad when I think about it in retrospect but totally necessary in my mind at the time. Did I succeed? Not at all. Here's a run down of all my other "wake-up-from-napping" tactics: 
• Setting my alarm clock. FAIL. It's difficult to wake up as it is when I intentionally got to sleep for the night.
• Having someone physically wake me or try calling me on my mobile. FAIL. I don't even remember the attempt of the wake up.
• Putting my alarm clock very far away from me so I'll get up. SEMI FAIL. This selectively works.. I think it depends on how tired I am. 
• Setting several alarm clock clocks spaced apart at 15 intervals. FAIL. HA!
• Setting my alarm clock and having the lights fully on so as not to fall into a deep sleep. FAIL. Double ha!
• Drinking coffee and/or soda before sleeping thinking it'll allow me a light sleep. See all above explanations.
2. No such thing as sleep compensation - 4 sleep one day, 2 hours another day, 3 hours the next day.. then when I get the opportunity to, I'll sleep in as much as I can when I can to compensate for little to no sleep the days before. This unfortunately only leads to more stress as I end up staying up late the next day compensating for work I could've done while I was asleep. So I'm tired all over again. It's a vicious cycle I tell you!
3. Running on no sleep? Think again - I am not Wonder Woman.. well rather, I am no longer 16 years old anymore. My mind may still think like a teenager in this regard, but my body is quick to slap me back into reality with a day of irritability, tiredness and sometimes, delirium.
4. Your body remembers - 5 years after college I ran a business with two friends where I was sleep deprived as well. The year after that was a lot more relaxed due to the freelance work I was doing so I regularly got 8 hours of sleep. Now that I'm back in a high-stress environment, I can't seem to find my way to running on little to no-sleep. It's like my body FINALLY got to experience life with enough hours of sleep and has since then, been refusing to have it any other way! Either that, or my age is starting to show. Hehe.

Because of so many years of unhealthy living, I made a choice last year that I would start living a healthier (and thus happier) life. Recently I haven't been keeping any of my promises. I lack sleep, I don't exercise, I hardly have time to myself to just sit and spend how I please. And I've been paying the price: I'm gaining weight, I'm tired all the time, I'm irritable, and unfocused.. all of which feed mental demons I've been fighting for a long time. 

While my current situation makes it near impossible to get 8-hours of sleep, I would like to think I can start making changes in the way I spend my waking hours and the number of commitments I have on my plate to hopefully clock in a steady and constant number hours of sleep and exercise daily. No more saying yes to anything and everything. If it makes any sense, I must learn to be more selfish, in order to be more selfless.