last sunday i decided to do my walking right after the 6pm mass. i try to compartmentalize my days and time like that, so i make the most of my time. i figure, since i'm out already, may as well go straight out right? WRONG! i swear, every house i walked by, i could smell the delectable aromas of sunday night dinner. i wanted to keel over and die. ang bango! grabe! i was thinking about all the foods i couldn't eat.
bit of a background story. with all this soul searching i've been doing these last few years, one of the universal truths that all self-empowerment books / seminars / cults (chizzy) /etc seem to spew is the importance of the now. living in the moment, free of your past and of a future that hasn't come yet. and... that's all i'll get into as i'm in no mood to go all philosophical in this entry :)
a few days after that walk after mass, i chanced by my mum watching an oprah show with that particular topic being discussed. so it was running in my head the next day when i walked by a donut stand and smelled the newly baked goodies, which seriously, is a GLORIOUS smell! gone are the days i used to buy me a strawberry glazed donut and dulce de leche donut at gonuts, and scarf them down one after the other. i'm limiting sweets right? so my usual reaction is to drool and bitch about not being able to eat sweets.
the strange thing was that for the first time ever, i simply enjoyed the smell. loved it. appreciated it. and yun lang! didn't attach it to any bitching, or moaning about my sacrifince not to eat sweets. i was seriously just in the moment. and it was a nice wonderful feeling.
that was a glimmer of hope in my usual sea of whining and griping. unfortunately, its back to the usual choatic choppy waters of lament. weeee!! ang saya saya!
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