Ready for the Ride

Went back to my old office today to clean up and out my files.

Sorting through my files was like an unexpected walk down memory lane, a nice way to close the chapter that was the last half year of my work life.

Each document I flipped through brought back an interesting rush of memories:

• The eagerness I had at the start of the project
  
• The feeling of tentativeness that sat at the back of my mind while I tried to quickly become familiar with the unfamiliar
  
• The ease of mobility I felt when I finally got to a point where I felt the group trusted me (perhaps even more than I did of myself, lol)
• When acronyms that were so alien to me at the start became part of my every day work vernacular
  
• The excruciating tension I constantly fought when I battled with procrastination and the overwhelming amount of work during the week of my event

And finally of course:

• The exhilaration of running on adrenalin
  
• Feeling the awesomeness of a group of people moving together to make your event a success
• The pride & joy I felt in seeing everything coming together
  
• The happy exhaustion I felt towards the end of the day
  
• The delicious sleep I had right after that.

It really felt like such a unique experience. Though I've come to realize, that though many of the details may differ in the future, the ride will be the same, should you choose to go on the ride anyway: the feeling of excitement but unfamiliarity at the start of something new, the high level of stress experienced when committing to something with hard work and then, the elation felt after seeing and experiencing the fruits of your labor.

You come out stronger and wiser each and every time. Glad I decided to finally push myself to get out there again instead of hermit away into a place that's safe and comfortable. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's not the kind of life I signed up for.

I've been testing the work waters for the last year, gingerly dipping my toes into a seemingly murky pool of scary-ness. Wasn't sure if I had the right skills to survive out there. A year later, pool of scaryness has turned into a vast emerald ocean of sparkling possibility (yes.. ting alert) and I am ready (and excited!) to jump in and swim swim swim.

So Universe, I'm at a crossroads here - a shove in the "right" direction would be very much appreciated thank you very much! :)