Fishing Lesson

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today.  Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”

Had the opportunity to this twice this month- one was a writing gig for a foundation that works with public schools to promote and build a love for reading in children, and another was for my own organization which I originally wrote about here. 

What I love about these events is that even if I'm part of the support team and not a participant, I am always inspired. I find myself learning a little bit more about myself and the world and its realities.

The writing gig was awesome as I've never given much though to pre-school education before; had no idea that there was so much science and philosophy behind it! It was also really great seeing the public school teachers acknowledged and seeing their excited about learning something that they wanted to apply in their classrooms immediately.

The work I do with my organization has been a challenge recently. It's always a bit of chore getting a project off the ground, and it can get some what cumbersome if you have a day job to worry. But that always changes the minute the schools come together and you see them happily mingling, while getting some great renovation work done at the school.

My dream at one point was to work for a big developmental-type organization, but while that hasn't happened yet, I'll keep myself busy with these types of projects in the meantime.

Two Months In

Two months in and the accounts I have on my plate include:

• Environmental graphics & signage and wayfinding for 2 retails establishments and a hotel group
• Coffee table book
• Branding requirements, marketing campaign and environmental graphics for a new property development
• Name & logo development and brand application for a hotel group and private corporation
• Christmas installations for two districts

And have finished, or in the process of finishing:

• Collaterals for a foreign expo 
• A museum exhibit
• A book
• An AVP for the first pseudo-public event for a new property

Busy months? Yes. Unnaturally so. Boring months? Not at all. 

All sorts of projects ranging in an array of complexities, in an assortment of industries where I get to meet all sorts of people. Realizing how the familiar was very unfamiliar 60 days ago is also always pleasantly surprising. Recognizing the miles of progress I'd like to make on a number of different facets is really exciting. 

Entering a new month, my third month. Going to pick up the pace on all fronts. Let's do this! 

Hoisting

Yeap-- I'm back here again, wanting to find myself back on track with my health (and thus, my diet & lifestyle).

Obviously, before I chug full speed ahead down this path, I need to get back on it.. thus the hoisting. Lol.

So I've been waiting for my schedule to regularize before I went down this path.. but I figure, why wait? May as well push and mold it to become "regular".

With age, hypothyroid, oral fixation and a weakness for anything edible working AGAINST me, I can't waste anymore time just putzing around.

While I'm in an office full of smokers, I'm glad I haven't careened down that trail again. But food glorious food.. why can't I just quit you?!

So today was Day 1 with exercise and conscious food intake. Can't wait for it to be Day 1001 to roll around. Hopefully, I won't be rolling around with it.

(pictures above - brother's burger's lamb burger with feta cheese & pesto. sigh.. on hold ka muna for a while k?) 

let's get physical

must.want.should.need to exerrrrciiiiissseeeeee

nownownownownownownownow naaaaaa

2 months have past. the first month i was just lazy. this month i've just been up to my widow's peak in work and commitments.

remind me to start taking the stairs to our floor, starting churning out my work faster and getting my sleep schedule regularized so i can squeeze in some cardio at dusk or twilight.

Work Load

One month in and I feel like I've been with the group forever.

My current priorities, plus all the "smaller" priorities I'm finishing up for the year are keeping me busy, busier than I've been in a while. I find myself incredibly spent at the end of the day.

Some days I wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew and long for consecutive days where I can stay up all night, sleep in all day, roll around, slow down my days and dilly dally all I want. I don't know how others manage to squeeze in the world, and then some. I'll get to that point someday soon I hope!

Most days I'm very happy with where I'm at. I'm happy to be moving forward, to be committing 200% to something and pushing myself to grow.

I'm anxious to get to that point where work happily balances out with my personal life and I don't feel like I've thrown myself under a bus every time I wake up in the morning. In the meantime, I'm having a good time trying to balance it out.

I'm eager to learn and excited about the projects I'm handling, the people I'm working with and the characters I'm meeting. I'm excited about growing in my new role and becoming real good at what I'm doing.

And while it ain't the kind of green I was hoping to be earning at this point, I'm grateful for a steady paycheck and the wisdom that comes with having run amuck with your finances at one point in your life.

So yes, tired bliss is where I'm at at the moment, and where I'll probably nest and make my home in for the next year.

But I haven't forgotten about my other plans! And don't forget about them too. They're still there. On hiatus for the moment and waiting to be revisted at some point next year.

Lent

Lenten season. Around this time last year, I gave up sweets. This year, I'm back with advantage. No chocolates and cakes for me thank you very much. I wonder if I should just give them up for good. Ha. YA. You might as well just lock me a room and suck out all the air.

____

According to mom, I used to believe that the blacker the ash wednesday cross was on your forehead, the more sins you had to atone for. So.. how black was your ash wednesday cross? ;)

Waiting

This year, I find myself waiting, waiting a lot as a matter of act. Waiting for my next trip, waiting for my next influx of cash, waiting for results, waiting for the pounds to drop, waiting for a project to finish, waiting, waiting waiting. Some of this waiting comes with a lot of action from my end- things I need to do to get my goal and thus, enabling me to move forward. But the most irritating type of waiting is well, the waiting where you simply.. wait.

Strangely, I don't remember having waited so much in the past years. Then again, it's probably because I didn't put myself "out there" as much as I have this year.

I was told recently by an empathic friend that I need not be in such a hurry. I suppose I feel like I'm making up for time (make that 2 years) lost during my years of drudgery, lol. At least it felt like drudgery towards the end. Though every time I think this, my head tells me I'm silly, that I learned a lot as well from those seemingly lost years, blah blah blah.

There seems to be a fine line between impatiently (anxiously? restlessly?) waiting and looking forward to something. I guess I'm writing this to remind myself to step back and enjoy the journey, and proactively learn from the present things I have committed and chosen to do. No day but today right?

Looks like I may need to re-look at my daily gratitude journal by opening up my awareness to a new level of gratitude.

Time Management

photo credit: http://heuristixx.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/math-problem-solving-and-mind-mapping/

I was with a colleague a few weeks back and I saw him scribbling on a piece of paper what looked like a very organized brainstorm. I learned later that he was fixing his schedule for the week, using a technique called mind mapping. My colleague is a very well put together guy and I couldn't image how he could run his life out of something that looked so deceivingly disorganized.


If you look at the photo above, you can see my schedule looks NOTHING like a mind map- I obviously organize my time very differently. I've always had a serious curiosity for learning new ways to up my time management and improve work efficiency so every so often I'll research and read up on time management techniques and tips. Over the years, I've put together this jumbled way of what I feel works best for me and my personality. I am still far from perfecting the skill and finding THE perfect mix and match for me.

So maybe I'll give this mind mapping a try and see how I can incorporate it into my current system. I do like the creative aspect of it!

How do you guys organize your time? Do share some tips if you have any :)

New Territory

February so far has been a month of new challenges, both good and heartbreaking, both scary and exciting.

It is during times like these where there is a heightened appreciation for the people in your life. The people who genuinely cheer you on and sincerely support you as you take new steps into unfamiliar grounds, the family and friends who know just what to say or do when life throws an unexpected (and unwanted) curve ball at you.

So for that, I am grateful.

Belated Greetings!

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Happy Day of Hearts!

I don't observe either "holiday" in the traditional sense of the word but that should be no reason NOT to celebrate right?

Had a quiet last minute dinner out with the family at SOMS Noodle House. It was surprisingly a very nice evening. In the same way that celebrations are ways of marking a significant or happy event, I'm hoping this dinner foreshadows a great year for my family, both individually and as a unit.

Back On Stage!

So it's all set; jumping last minute into a show next month.

Was excited to see my script. I love getting a new script- reading it over for the first time, getting to know my character for the first time.. even highlighting my lines is such a joy for me.

It's a short skit (about 15 minutes long apparently) and an ensemble piece. The past shows I've done with them were either monologues or two-person plays, so this will be something different!

Curious about who the other cast members are. They've had a few more rehearsal together so I'm hoping I have immediate rapport with them off and on stage.

Exciting!

Back On Stage?

Made a small return to the stage 2 years ago after I auditioned for a show produced by this new theater and events group. I've been quite lucky with them as since that first show, I've been involved in a number of their shows, both off and on stage.

This year, I didn't get around to audition for their annual theater event due to a personal conflict in schedule. I reasoned that I needed to focus on what was (and is currently still!) on my plate, and was convinced I couldn't do both.

A few weeks after the auditions (that I didn't attend), I started feeling differently. I planned on getting in touch with them and letting them know that I wanted to help out with the show, as a actor or otherwise. Though I dwelt on it for a while, I kept putting it off. I eventually gave up on the idea as with the show dates fast approaching, I thought it would be too makapal for me to ask.

Today though, I randomly bumped into the group's president. The first thing she said to me after a hug was "I need you!". She told me how she was looking for someone to fill a role and had thought of me. She figured since I didn't audition, I was busy with the job I was telling her I'd have by now during last year's show. She put the message out into the universe in hopes it would conspire to help her.. and conspire it did! For the both of us!

Now I have no idea if it will work out logistically; we still need to talk specifics. Not that I want to turn a deaf ear to opportunity knocking but I'm a bit overwhelmed as it is right now with what's going on in my life. Hopefully all it will take to get me through the next few weeks is diligent focus, hard work, baby steps, self confidence and prayers.

Nonetheless, I'm thrilled! The surprise source of income is as welcome as it is needed, as is the chance to pour my energies into a creative outlet I've always loved. Acting freaks me out as much as it exhilarates me so it's definitely an opportunity to stretch my realm of self-awareness. I always come out of a show feeling like I know myself just a little bit more.

So fingers crossed!

(photo of myself and a fellow actress in a show I did last year; taken by S.Purdue)

2009: A Review (Part I)

2009 was a year of transition, like the start of a vibrant new life where it almost feels like I relearned how to do everything. Sometimes I still do feel like I'm groping my way about, but having so much more fun doing it this time around.

Before letting myself loose into the new decade, thought it best to review the year that just past.

I realized I got to do a whole lot of traveling this year. And not just physical trips mind you! But let me being with that...

There were a lot of TRIPS, both local and abroad...

(Tokyo, Japan in January for THREE; first time here!)

(Tali, Batanagas in February)

(Cagayan de Oro for a quick 24 hours with the ACS; photo c/o J.Galindo)

(Cruise of Palawan in May, a first for me! Both on a cruise and to the places we visited)

(Pandan Island in Mindoro Oriental in May; another first!)

(Taipei, Taiwan in August for a festival)

(San Francisco, California in August to visit friends)

(Chicago, Illinois in August to be a ninang at a confirmation and to visit newly wed friends)

(Boston, Massachusetts in August to visit friends and to sing for a memorial mass)

(NYC & NJ in August to visit friends and be MOH at a friend's wedding!)

(Boracay in November to celebrate a friend's birthday)

I EXPLORED a lot of Manila as well, where I learned to embrace (albeit sometimes a strangled embrace..) commuting and see OLD PLACES WITH NEW EYES...

(Taguig)


(Divisoria)

(Ateneo)


(Metropolitan Museum of Art)

(Even my own village!)

I EXPLORED MORE by visiting NEW places (well, at least in my eyes) around the metropolis, learning more about the city that has been my home for the last 13 years...

(Bangkal)

(Salcedo Market)

(Ayala Museum)

(Manila Ocean Park)

And as much as I was able to explore the external world around me, I spent a lot of time this year doing a lot of searching and growing within as well.

Wow my corniness is starting to make me gag..

Lol, but seriously, I kid you not! What would a year of experiences be without some more insight into yourself right? But more about that in the next installment.

A New Year

I like the idea of a new year. Its kind of a like a grown up version of the feeling I would have when faced with a new school year.

While I realize that there is actually is no such thing as a "do-over" in life, a new year always feels like a chance to start over again with a clean slate regardless. An opportunity to FINALLY put away the past year's hits and misses and store it in that ever growing file called "older and wiser". Its the same excitement I feel when I open to the first page of a fresh new journal and I feel that urge to want to just fill it up with all my doodles and ramblings.

I also love that the new year sets in place for me a pre-determined time line to accomplish all my goals.

New Year's coming up so I've been slowly reviewing 2009 and thinking about what I'd like 2010 to be like.

I'm excited.

Acknowledging Acknowledgement

We hear a lot of talk about the importance of gratitude. We were taught as kids that saying thank you is important and we learn as we get older the significance of expressing your appreciation for an act of kindness or generosity.

So personally, I make it a point to say thank you for all the little things I appreciate. From the policeman who stops traffic as I cross the street, to the friends who are unselfishly and wholeheartedly there for you even when you don't think you need them.

But this post isn't about saying thanks, it's about going beyond gratitude.

I've realized that at times, saying "thank you" is a little bit more difficult than originally anticipated. That's why I've come to realize that saying "you're welcome", reciprocating or acknowledging the acknowledgment is important too.

The genuine expression of appreciation and gratitude isn't so easy to come by now a day. While saying "thank you", should come with no expectations, it's always nice to let the person who is thanking you know that you appreciate the effort they made to appreciate you, even by simply acknowledging it.

Ok.. musing aside, I think I just drove myself nuts by trying to quickly express and thus consistently repeating words like.. gratitude, appreciation, acknowledgment. Gah.

Walking Companion

My little sister a's dog has grown to love me. They say spitz's are incredibly territorial and loyal to their owners. Kippy is this and then some. In fact, my family's convinced he's crazy bipolar. I do think age is mellowing him out.

The mutual affection has grown because I'm around so often. My own dog has passed (and Kippy hates seeing the family coddling the other dogs) and my sister has moved nearer to her school, so he and I spend lots of times together. He follows me around when I'm working at home, allows me to pick him up with being too much of a grump and sleeps with me even when his master is around.

The biggest reason I feel is because he has been my companion ever since I took to walking as my form of exercise. As much of jerk as Kippy can be, he's a really smart dog. Even when I'm not in my sweats or sneakers, he seems to sense when I'm about to go out for a walk. He starts going crazy, jumping and twisting around until his leash is on him and he makes that mad dash for the gate towards the world outside that he loves to explore.

I wish I could be that excited about exercising.

"Thank You For The Reminder"

I received an email from a friend's tita who I've had the pleasure of getting to know over the last few years. She had just finished going through my albums on Facebook and had some very lovely things to say about my photos in general.

Her purpose in writing though was to thank me for reminder her about the joy and beauty of simple things around her that people sometimes may tend to overlook.

My heart literally did cartwheels of joy when I read her email.

You see, I realized in 2008 that I was having, and had been having for the longest time, a really crappy couple of years. So crappy that my unhappiness was manifesting itself in more ways than I had cared to acknowledge. After hitting rock bottom, it took me a year of discernment to get to the point where I was ready to pick myself up and move forward, making the choice to really start living a life that I truly love.

One strategy was to purposefully look for joy in the things around me, and that has played itself out in three ways. Daily, I jot down what happiness is for me in the day that just passed, listing down things that I am grateful for. This blog is also a product of that assertion as is my growing love affair with photography. I started taking pictures of random things that I saw that made me smile and things just kind of exploded from there.

So back to tita's email... well, I guess what really struck me, over and beyond the visual appreciation for my photos was how they were occurring to her. My reason for taking photos coincided with what she was for herself by looking at my photos.

Taking photos is really more for my own personal pleasure (and sanity.. lol). I'm thrilled that though it has been a source of genuine inspiration for someone else, even in its own small way.

Art for Art's Sake

While more people may know more about my love affair with the theater and the stage, or the classical voice or piano lessons I took growing up, not that many people know about my affinity for visual arts. I think I've been painting, coloring, and visually creating longer than I've been involved in the performing arts actually!

I've been fortunate enough to have taken my share of art classes, both in school and as an extracurricular activity. Oil pastels, oil paints, water color, chalk & charcoal, pen & ink, working with plaster of paris, clay, lithography.. I don't think there was one medium I didn't like. The process of creating something in your mind then translating that into something tangible has always been, well, euphoric almost.
I used to have a growing stack of oil paintings back when I lived abroad. My biggest fan was (and still is) my mom, who wasted no opportunity in displaying my work all over the home. Lol. Unfortunately, I lost all of these pieces when the warehouse that was keeping our furniture while we were house hunting burned down.

Now a day, I'm an on and off dabbler. Sometimes I go a pretty long time without doing anything creative with my hands but I always find myself going back to it for a day, or week or two. I'll churn out half, or maybe even 2 pieces and then hibernate again for months, possibly years. Painting for me is therapeutic and very personal, which is probably the reason why many people don't know I do it. I do it mostly for myself and as a way for me to unwind and relax. My mind is so focused on whatever it is I am working on and so in the moment, that it's actually pretty much blank. Lol. I've seen the talent out there and am no where near calling myself an artist. I really just enjoy the creative process.

I think one of the best decisions I ever made in high school was dropping Economics (thank you for the C+ Mr. Jones, you know I love you regardless!) and taking up Art instead. Hehehe. It was at this time where I think I finally developed a style that kind of, well.. stuck. We had to come up with a theme and create a whole portfolio based off of this theme. I forgot what mine was verbatim but it was something like finding the human body in nature, or nature in the human body. Since then, I have also since confirmed that I still suck at free hand drawing but love love love nature and colors and patterns and textures. I think from the look of some of my work, I think it's rather obvious isn't it? Could be the earthy Taurus in me I suppose. Lol.

Uploaded are some of my favorite and/or recent pieces. Sharing for posterity's sake :)

Happy 1 year cigarette-free Anniversary to me!

Today I celebrate 1 year of being a non-smoker.

Prior to quitting for good, I went through several months of wishy-washy-ness. I wasn't smoking for a few months, then partied and relaxed in Bali for a week where I smoked a whole tobacco field, followed by a 1-month tour as a Soprano 1 (from singing Alto) so I stopped smoking again to aid my crying vocal chords. When I returned, I had coffee with a fellow smoker. I remember inhaling then thinking to myself.. I don't need this. I put it out, and that was that. One year ago.

My relationship with cigarettes has been love-hate. Cigarette smoking always evoked good times I've had with friends over the years; dancing the night away with cocktail in one hand and a Marlboro Light in the other, riding in a car full of girlfriends with the windows down and music up as we sang and laughed and flicked our cigarette ash out the window, intimate conversations over a cup of coffee or a rambunctious evening of side splitting laughter over dinner. As with any vice though, you know it's bad for you but you do it anyway. You know people who have suffered and died from lung cancer and the heartache it brings to the sufferer as well as to the family and friends left behind. You do it anyway. On a more superficial level, you know of the ugly smell it leaves on the on your fingers and the way it litters your bag with yellow tobacco leaves. But yes, you stubbornly puff away regardless. It was a favorite poison, it helped me deal with my stress, it gave me something to do when I was out but feeling anti-social. It was also cheaper than drinking.

But the decision to stop smoking was the first of many life style choices I made towards taking control of my life, a life that I realized was out of control and being pushed around by the circumstances I allowed myself to be in.

I won't lie, there are times where I'm tempted to smoke, even take a quick puff. This is usually when I'm stressed out, looking for a reason to put something off, after a full meal, at the beach, or out with friends. But I quickly talk myself out of it. It's not worth it. When you remove the drama, distract yourself and do your damn hardest to take your mind off of it, it becomes much easier than we make it to be. Goodness knows how long I'll be fighting the cravings, but glad to know it does get easier with time.

It has been great validation so far, that I CAN do something when I put my mind to it, that I am capable of that much inner strength and discipline. 1 year down, got the rest of my life to go. No plans of going back to that nasty habit that's for sure.

Now if I could only get this far with weight loss.. LOL.

Sugar & Spice & Everything Nice

Nice people are just.. well.. nice! I'm not talking about the "sugary-sweet-bordering-on-plastic" nice, or the "overbearingly-annoying-i-wanna-hide-from-you" nice, but the people who are just "genuinely-sincere-gosh-darn" nice!

I was making calls the other day updating clients, and it was delightful speaking to people who were pleasant and accommodating. No crabby old secretaries for me please!

There is also a custodian in our office who helps start my work morning off on the right foot. He's at work bright and early, happily mopping the floor or emptying out waste baskets and he never fails to wish every single person he meets a good morning. Seriously, outside of Snow White & Amy Adams, who else do you know whistles a happy a tune while sweeping the floor? Or while doing ANYTHING for that matter?

In a world where there are so many sullen and irritable people to deal with on a regular basis, it is great to unexpectedly engage with people who are not only helpful but who exude a sense of peace and happiness. It really makes a difference and can fortunately, be quite catching.